YOU CAN DO IT!
You can do it!!! I’ve pretty much heard these words my entire life. Whatever I wanted to try my Mom was always my biggest cheerleader and advocate. No matter what the challenge “Shelly you can do it”. And whether it was a brief modeling career, real-estate classes, raising my girls alone or a corporate job venture I wanted to interview for my Mom always made me feel like I was a super hero. But back then she only mirrored what I felt about myself. In my younger days I was fearless so her words and my internal beliefs made me unstoppable. As I raised my girls they would watch me try all sorts of things. Way too many to list here. But the biggest lesson that I hoped I conveyed to them was the encouragement to give life a try. I love the words, you can do it. However life has a way of shaking our self-esteem to the core. After a string of bad relationships, financial setbacks, job losses or the loss of people we love our self-worth can somehow take a nose dive. We find ourselves in a battle between self-belief and self-doubt. Just believing that “we can do it” can sometimes bring its own set of challenges. If we could just live up to the pictures on our vision boards and the heart felt dreams we’ve seen for ourselves life would be magical. But our self-doubt will tell us that we are too young, too old, too broke or broken or just too far behind in life to give ourselves a try. It’s an internal struggle to push ourselves to believe so we wait patiently for the perfect time to try. We play ourselves by waiting because there is no perfect time.
What do you believe that you can do? Is there something deep down inside that you want to try but are holding yourself back from? Is it starting a business? Taking a trip out of the country? Moving to a new city and starting over? Maybe it’s something truly life changing like starting a new career after years in a dead end job, writing your book or going back to college and finally finishing up your degree. What would you absolutely love to do but lack the guts, passion and courage to try? No matter what it is we all have a “you can do it” deep inside. Most of us are taught at a young age to take risks and not be afraid. We have the ingenuity to build clubhouses out of an old TV box, nurse a sick stray animal, and create the ultimate volcanic eruption with just baking soda and vinegar. So how do we get that belief in ourselves back?
Here are 5 things I’ve started to implement into my own life:
- 1. Stop over-analyzing everything. If there is something you want to do just do it. Use wisdom of course but stop researching and over-analyzing it to death. Use balance. Gather information that will encourage you to move forward with your journey not talk you out of it. If you plan on taking a trip out of the country don’t ONLY research bad information that could breed fear. Look at the beauty of your destination as well and build your vision around that.
- 2. Journal every day. There I said it. Most people I talk to hate to journal. Some even have this fear that if something were to happen to them their friends and loved ones would find their journals and all of their deep dark secrets would be out. I am a longtime proponent of journaling. I’ve done it for years. Not once have I ever worried about someone finding them and viewing me differently based on my entries. Journaling has helped me through some rough patches and I’ve also used them to note the victories in my life. It’s refreshing to see the chances I took in certain areas of life when I didn’t believe in myself. Pick up a nice journal and start by just letting your writing flow on the pages. It’s your personal space to express how you feel without judgement. Write down the vision you have for your life and the lives of those you love. Use some of the pages as a “bucket list”. Capture all the things you’d love to do before then end of your life. You’ll be surprised at how many pages you will fill up in one session once you let your thoughts relax.
- 3. We love our friends and relatives; we really do but remember you can’t share your hopes and dreams with everyone. No matter how good their intentions are some people will always see the bad in everything. Nay sayers and dream slayers are always amongst us. Sort of the glass half full kinda folks. Try to surround yourself with like-minded people who can push you to your vision. People who have a passion to live their lives to the fullest will find joy in watching you live yours. We already run across enough negative people on a daily basis so try and have a network of individuals who aren’t afraid to cheer you on in whatever life endeavors you decide to tackle.
- 4. Clear the mental mess. We will always find a million excuses in our brains not to do something. Trust me I had a million and one about writing this blog. You have to settle your mind. Your own thoughts will try to sabotage you own plans. Case and point for me; I had a job interview the other day. Anyone that knows me well knows I am the queen of successful interviews. I absolutely love them! The night before my interview I woke up out of a deep sleep with thoughts of things not going well. What if my experience isn’t what they want? What if I bomb the interview? What if I’m not enough? In that instant I had to settle my thoughts. Talk myself through it. “You ALWAYS do well on interviews” so don’t worry this one will be fine too”. And it was. Actually one of the best ones I’ve had. Our minds are like menus so our food for thought should be positive over negative constantly. It’s an exercise we have to do daily.
- 5. Don’t give up. I’ll say that again don’t ever give up! No matter what it is you want to do it’s going to take time, focus and patience. Just because you don’t see the results immediately doesn’t mean they aren’t coming. Give yourself the grace needed to be successful. Learn and grow along the way. Make mistakes and don’t be afraid to fail and try again.
We have to learn how to take charge of our “do it’s”. Be the change agents over our own lives and not live afraid. See the value in trying new things no matter the outcome or the risk because the trajectory of your joy and happiness is in taking a risk in you.
Trust me…you can do it